SELF-BLAME

When we engage in self-blame we are literally emotionally abusing ourselves! Why would we do this to ourselves? The answer is simple - sometimes we fail to recognize our own humanity, we demand too much from ourselves, we hold too much responsibility even for things that are out of our control. Blame leads to shame and self-blaming means self-shaming.

Self-blame is especially common among sexual assault, rape and childhood sexual abuse survivors, and people suffering from depression, so it is important to free yourself from this toxic thinking and help those around you to do the same.



How to stop blaming yourself?   

• It's important to remember, that we are human beings, we aren't perfect and we are not going to get it right every time.  

• Recognise that a lot of things happen beyond our control. If you were a victim of a crime you're not to blame. We happen to end up in the wrong place at the wrong time, we just can't predict the future...  

• If you are going to make yourself accountable for something then make sure you see the bigger picture and seek evidence. Don't let negative bias to take over and turn on your logical thinking.

• If you learned that you are to blame for something, don't dwell on it. Accept it and learn from mistakes.

• Learn to accept what you can't change and focus on changing what you can.

Self-blaming is self-destructive, and engaging in this kind of thinking you're not doing any favours to yourself, it only makes matters worse. If you want to free yourself and move on, only you can change it.