LABELLING

Isn't it crazy how many distorted thinking habits do we have? Labelling is another one, and in my opinion it's evil. It happens when we attach a description to ourselves, other people, things or events. These descriptions can be very negative, humiliating, hurtful, ugly words which only cause all sorts of problems.

Lets look at terms like 'failure', 'loser', 'stupid', 'worthless', 'incompetent', 'clueless', the list is endless. We label ourselves when we concentrate and criticise our behaviour, intelligence, confidence, appearance. The same applies when we label others. People are prone to judge miraculously fast. When someone looks, talks or behaves odd we are likely to say or think 'weirdo', seeing overweight person we might label them as 'fat'. Doing it in mind also counts!

What are the dangers of labelling?

Labelling is especially dangerous. Firstly, the most important danger here is that it lays the foundations for verbal abuse and bullying. Secondly, lets say if you tell someone or yourself that he, or she, or you are 'useless' you only cause discouragement from further activity and improvement.

Studies prove that labelling is especially destructive if a person suffers from low self-esteem and can trigger depression. It causes nothing but friction, and tends to generate negative emotions such as shame, guilt, anxiety, self-loathing and decreases self-confidence. It may also fuel anger, outrage and even rebellion. 

Sometimes labels can be attached to people since their childhood days by other children, or parents, or other authority figures. Children are sensitive to labels, they can carry it to adulthood and use it against themselves, and also others. 

How to avoid this kind of thinking?

• Try to separate a person's behaviours from the person as a whole, don't attack his or her identity. Only by recognizing this can we improve the relationships by communicating in a different way.

• Before you're tempted to call someone 'irresponsible', stop and think again. Maybe they were distracted or simply forgot, there could be numerous reasons. 

• Talking about self-labelling try to accept that you behaved in a pathetic way, or did something silly. Don't call yourself 'stupid' because of some single action. Words hurt as much as physical pain. Separate what you did from self, move on, and work on improvements.

We are vulnerable human beings, we're not perfect, we do things we regret, we make mistakes, fail to achieve what we go for, make bad decisions and criticise people. It's a part of our existence, but as human beings we can also make a difference and be in control of our words, and thoughts, stop hurting ourselves, and others.