BLACK & WHITE or ALL OR NOTHING THINKING

 

 

It won't be difficult to recognise this thinking error. It is characterised by a tendency to view things in extremes - either good or bad; right or wrong; best or worst etc. When black & white thinking dominates in our heads we don't see any shades of grey or any middle ground in between. This applies to ourselves, other people, events and situations.

Black & White, All or Nothing or in other terms Polarised thinking would insist that if you're not thin, you must be fat; if you're not a winner, then you're a loser; if it's not the best, then it's rubish, etc. For some it is very convenient to classify reality in convenient boxes and these thinkers usually spend a great deal of time and energy to impose their classification system on other people. But life isn't that simple!
Many people with 'perfectionist' type tendencies will think in this way and often set up unrealistically high standards for themselves to which they can't live up.

What are the dangers of this distorted process of thinking?

This kind of thinking goes hand in hand with strong moral judgements and self-evaluations that can cause a great deal of unnecessary distress. People who think in rigid ways put themselves and others under intense pressure.
Black & White thinkers tolerate no dissent - after all, in their eyes there is only one right way. This kind of polarised thinking leads to a great many evils in society including racism, bigotry, sexism and political extremism.
When applied to oneself the result of this thinking is an inevitable reduction in self-esteem as the person experiences a negative self-image.


What to do before falling into this extreme polarised thinking?

• It's important to recognise that people can see and experience things in different ways.

• Remember that perceiving a question, or situation in more flexible, sophisticated ways are likely to be better for your mental health.

• Watch out for terms in your speech and thinking such as 'should', 'ought to' and 'must' that may indicate the presence of unhelpfully rigid assumptions about yourself and the world. 

• Try to embrace the grey, try to find and recognise that the middle ground also exists.

• Learn to see that your values and convictions as a matter of personal choice rather than obligatory for everyone.

• Expose yourself to other views that don't necessarily fit in with your own and see if you can find any common ground with those who told them.

Remember that the belief that perfection is possible and the belief that a person's worth is determined by achievement are two irrational beliefs that feed this kind of thinking. It only limits our perspective, increases chances for depression, makes us less willing to compromise, and makes us less adaptive. So next time when you hear someone saying that "Children should be seen and not heard" recognise that this is an extreme opinion which can be challenged.