Love is a human emotion of a strong attraction and personal attachment, but understanding why and how it happens is not necessarily easy.
Different individuals approach love relationships differently. Sociologist John Lee suggest there are six styles of loving, which we will explore here:
- ROMANTIC LOVE (Eros) - An all-consuming emotional experience, an immediate powerful physical attraction to someone. This love style is the one most commonly portrayed in Hollywood movies. Also known as "love at first sight", it is based on "chemistry" and a strong physical and/or emotional attraction.
- COMPANIONATE LOVE (Storge) - A comfortable intimacy that grows slowly out of friendship and involves similar interests, mutual sharing, gradual self-disclosure and a commitment to one another rather than on passion.
- GAME-PLAYING LOVE (Ludus) - Love based on fun and strategy with no commitment and a belief in 'playing the field' - wanting to "win" as many partners as possible. It is usually short-lived and will end soon as boredom sets in.
- POSSESSIVE LOVE (Mania) - An emotionally intense, jealous, obsessive love which flows out of low self-esteem, anxiety, constant fear of rejection and a need to be loved by one's partner.
- PRAGMATIC LOVE (Pragma) - A logical, very practical and realistic love based on selecting a partner who satisfies practical needs and is a match in terms of age, religion, background and personality. People who prefer this style approach their relationship in a "business-like" fashion and look for partners with whom they can share common goals. There is contentment rather than excitement.
- ALTRUISTIC LOVE (Agape) - An unconditional, caring, giving and forgiving type of love. There is no expectation of reciprocity. In this style of love, the individual is willing to sacrifice anything for their partner. It is based on an unbreakable commitment, selfless love.
If you are currently in a relationship, you might want to take a test and find out your type of love --> What is your love style? (opens in a new window)
Sources:
Diana Dwyer 'Interpersonal relationships', 2000
http://www.usefulcharts.com/psychology/six-love-styles.html
